Like sands through the hourglass... so are the Days of Our Lives

Where to begin… To say the least I’ve had some pretty interesting things happen to me in the past couple of weeks. Some things I’m choosing to leave out so I do not incriminate myself or others involved. So I’m going to tell you two different stories. The first story is one that will make you laugh and also wonder about the individuals, and the second one is well… a situation that nobody wants to be involved but find it entertaining when it is happening to somebody else. But with out further adieu…. Story number one…

I was in the lovely not so crowded Wal-Mart. So that is a contradiction in terms since I am living in a college town where college co-eds run rampant in the streets and Wal-Mart is somehow the local watering hole for the co-eds… during the day that is, but back to the story. I was there running an errand and just to waste some time while I was there, so I headed into the sporting goods section. As I was approaching I see three girls standing in the aisle of where the soccer balls were. These girls were looking at the soccer balls very intently but also with very confused faces. They had multiple soccer balls down and then I hear why they were confused. “I cannot find anywhere on here that lets you know if it is a right or left footed ball! It should be on here!” I’m not kidding. You cannot make this kind of stuff up. I saw the man behind the counter enjoying the mad confusion of these girls. He was doing everything he could NOT to laugh hysterically at them. He looks at me shaking his head and looks back at them. I couldn’t help myself. I walked up to them and asked them what they were looking for. So they told me they needed two different soccer balls b/c one of the girls was right footed and the other was left footed. The third girl had no idea if she was left or right footed. So what I did next probably was mean but I seriously couldn’t pass this up. I picked up two of the same sized soccer balls but in different colors. I held them slightly differently and said, “See you can see a slight difference in the curvature of the ball. It makes for a more accurate shot and control. But if you can shoot with both feet then you can play with (I’m picking up another soccer ball) this one. You can see that the curvature of this ball is perfect for playing with since it suited for both left and right footed players.” I somehow managed to keep a straight face during this whole scientific farce of an explanation. The three girls looked at me and thanked me for clearing things up for them. They bought the three soccer balls at the counter behind me, and left happy customers. They guy at the counter looked at me and said, “Where did you come up with that? I almost believed you.” All I could say was, “I couldn’t help myself. But they just bought three of the same balls in different colors.” The guy at the counter just laughed.

*This next story, names and locations have been changed to protect those involved*

The other night I met up with some friends I haven’t seen in a while. I will dub them as Elliott, Carrie, Gwen, Drew and some others met up and City Grocery to have some drinks and catch up. We were there for a little while and then went and had dinner at one of the hibachi grills in town. During dinner I get a phone call from a friend I hadn’t seen in a while. I’ll dub him Jason. He was calling to let me know he was in town for the night and wanted to hang out. I was up for it so we decided to meet at Rooster’s around 10:30 or so. So Jason and I are at the upstairs bar catching each other up on what was going on in our lives, and he was in mid sentence when he says, “Oh Shit.” This, of course, confused me. I turned to see where he was looking but before I saw anything I heard one of the doors coming in from the balcony slam shut with some ummph behind it. It was one of those moments when everybody, even the bartenders, stops what they are doing or what they are saying to see what is about to go down. Get a mental picture of an outlaw in an old western movie walking into the saloon. He is looking for somebody and everybody is getting out of his way as he is walking up to whomever. This is what it looked like but instead of an outlaw with boots and stirrups on, it was a scorned ex with red stilettos storming towards Jason and me. I have my drink in hand and I don’t know if I should jump over the bar for protection or haul butt out of the bar. So what do I do… I stayed on my bar stool and listened to what was about to unfold… “Just what the hell do you think you are doing?! What makes you think you can just come to town and not call?! AND why the hell are you with a slut like her?...” I was entertained and laughing, to myself, at what was happening right in front of me. The bartenders were like whoa!!! People around us were of course watching and were like whoa… People were even looking in the windows to see what was going on. Talk about making a scene. I finished my drink looked at the bartender that took our order and mouthed… “this was on him…” I got up waved inconspicuously by to Jason and walked out very casually but made sure that my back was never towards the girl. I was getting looks from people like… “Is she really just walking away and leaving him to deal with that?!” or “Smart move… I would have done the same thing…” Lets just say I called it an early night this night. But I did get a call from Jason a little bit later saying he was sorry about that and that they had been broken up for 4-5 months now and why I left the way I did. I told him it was an interesting point in the night and that he would have done the same thing in my shoes.

There are some other stories I could tell that has happened in the past week, but sad to say it, but story time has come to an end. Don’t worry… there are sure to be more stories to come.